Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's been a while since my last post. I'm a bad blogger. So sue me.
In truth, over the last month or two I've had some great ideas for posts (and some that were really stupid in hindsight) but I've never been able to carve out an hour or so to sit down and write. So as I sit here on BART riding home, I'm going to write about my favorite subject...me!
Now don't worry, I'm not going to blather about how wonderful I am and that I'm so fabulous that when I fart rainbows come flying out. Nah, that's not me. But what I am going to do is basically the literary equivalent of patting myself on the back...tooting my own horn...giving myself some major props! Why you may ask? Because part of the reason I haven't had a lot of time to write is because I've dedicated much of my summer to trying to lose some weight. And while it wasn't "fun", it has been an accomplishment about which I'm very proud.
As of writing this, I've lost a total of 55 pounds since last summer. I even ran my first 5k last week and I couldn't be more proud than if I had climbed Everest (which, by the way, will be the first thing I do if I win the lottery)! And I won the entire race!
Okay, that's a total lie. I was slower than molasses. The hare AND the tortoise passed me. Snails were blowing by me like they were traveling at warp speed. But I did it. Yay for me. I decided to celebrate by running a 7k in two weeks and another 5k at the end of October. And I plan to win both of those too! Okay, I plan to finish. That’s good enough for me.
While I'm thrilled about where I am now, it's been a tough struggle; it's been far more mental than physical. You see, anyone who knows me really well knows that I am the hardest on myself. For whatever reason, I’ve learned to set myself up for failure. Yes, I'm a saboteur or my own life. I set goals for myself that are impossible to meet. I have expectations of myself that I can never reach. My insane To Do lists on the weekend (and at work for that matter) are pages and pages long. It allows me to not be surprised when I fail, and generally see myself as inadequate. A perfect example of this is that even after losing 55 pounds, I can only seem to concentrate on the fact that I still have 40 pounds to go. I’m working on it, but it’s something that doesn’t disappear overnight. But I digress...
So, (insert upbeat, happy music here) in an effort to recognize the accomplishment of losing 55 pounds, I have compiled a list of positive things that have come from it. Some items on the list are small; some are more significant. But if you've never had a weight problem, you wouldn't even think about these things. If you've had to battle your weight before, then you'll understand why this warrants getting on the list. I just want to remind myself that, in the immortal words of the prophet Bob the Builder, yes I can.
1. I don't fear when the escalator is out of service at the BART station. I can now walk up the stairs without thinking I need to take a break halfway up.
2. I can walk my dogs without getting winded on the way back up the hill. It's only a mile.
3. I can cross my legs without the crossing leg sticking straight out or hurting because the circulation was cut off.
4. I no longer shop in the plus size department.
5. I can wear shoes with a heel higher than an inch (55 extra pounds can make your feet hurt from the added pressure).
6. I had to buy all new clothes, including underwear (although financially this was a bit of a bummer).
7. My slouching is getting better (after all these years, Mom can now stop whispering to me to stand up straight - and she was right).
8. I can't finish my plate of food at a restaurant.
9. I feel comfortable wearing shorts.
10. Men offer to give me their seat on the BART train (no, they don't offer when you're overweight). And for the record, I now say thank you and decline their offer. I can stand for the 25 minute ride home without my legs starting to hurt; I would dread that happening before.
11. I feel pretty.
There are more that I just can’t think of right now, but in the end, it all adds up to one thing: hooray for me.
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